on the eve of 2011


“I  wouldn’t want to be the person who had felt as I do now and then walked – or drifted – away from that feeling until things felt better.

That is precisely my problem. I prefer the idea of death to what I feel just now, but I would prefer to feel the way I do now for ever than to feel better, because feeling better would mean that I am not the one who loved her any more, and I could not bear that.”

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